The life i used to live
by Ruthyroo
Summary: A one shot for STU where Ste gets trapped by Terry and Brendan saves him.


**For ****Stu xxx**

**The life I used to live**

It had been a few years since I'd seen Pauline and I couldn't believe she'd come here again. The last time I saw her we rowed but then we always did. Without terry I'd say she was okay, not your normal average mum but a million times better than the person she became with him. I decided a long time ago that I was better off without her; I know she's me mum but she has hurt me so much, probably even more than terry and Brendan put together. Mums are supposed to protect you after all.

She came here to tell me she's not well, why would I care? I don't know if I'd even care if she died. It was her liver, it had to be really the amount she drank; I'm surprised it had taken this long for her to become ill. She told me she might even need to have a transplant things were serious. What did she expect me to say or do; she burnt her bridges with me a long time ago.

"I don't know what's going to happen to me but I just want a relationship with me son while I can"

She said, with tears welding up in her eyes, if I hadn't of heard it all before I might even of believed her. She wanted my help or should I say needed my help. Help with the shopping, cleaning, has she forgotten everything that has happened between us. I don't owe her anything so why should I help her? Plus there is terry to think about I have no intention of ever seeing him again not after all the abuse he put me through.

Terry was a lazy man back then I can't see him changing much so she won't get any help from him, I expect he's still smacking her around. I really don't know what made me agree to help her, was it because she's family? Regardless of not loving her she's still me mum. Or was I just being foolish, stupid again like times with her before, with terry, with Brendan.

"What about terry I don't want to see him"

She had told me to come round the following Tuesday about noon, apparently Tuesdays for terry are spent in the pub all day, some things never change. I told her I would have to check with Doug as he would have to cover my shift at C&H but that it shouldn't be a problem. Before she left she tried to kiss me on the cheek but I moved from her

"Thanks son"She said

I had no words for her I was only ever her son when she wanted something. I was relieved when she had gone.I suddenly felt like I did when I was living with her, trapped, out of control, I'd only been around the woman for an hour and I'm already the Ste I used to be. Sometimes people from your past need to stay there, Pauline and terry needed to stay there. I had got rid of all the bully's from my life all the violence, terry Pauline even Brendan. So to me this kinda felt like I was going back and I didn't like it at all.

**Tuesday**

Doug had been ok about me having the day off; I told him that I was going to visit me mum, he didn't really know the history behind it all and I didn't really wanna tell him yet.

It felt odd walking down my old street, walking up to that door. I felt like I was dreaming like I was having a nightmare, I swore I would never come here again yet here I am. Pauline looked pleased to see me; I think she thought that I would not show, but im not heartless like her. I went inside and true enough Terry wasn't home, I don't think I could cope with seeing him.

It's weird although my mum has never been there for me I felt like I owed her this. The house was in its usual mess and I noticed that Pauline was still drinking, she had liver disease and she still couldn't stop. We were in the living room and I didn't hear the key in the door I just heard him shout

"I've forgotten my wallet love"

Terry entered the room

"What is he doing here?"

He said angrily

Pauline started to shake she knew what was coming as I did

"He's come to help me love he's not staying long"

She was always trying to justify herself to him. Although I was scared I didn't let him see. It's like just the sight of me made him go into a rage because the next thing I knew I was being dragged out by my hair.

"You're not welcome here how many times do you need telling"

I tried to stop him I tried to fight back but he's stronger than me, always has been. Me fighting back only made him worse he punched me so hard in the stomach that it winded me, I collapsed on the floor. Pauline was shouting telling him to stop but he never listened to her before so why should he listen now?

Pauline got it next that was her punishment for sticking her nose in for trying to help me. I knew coming here would be a bad idea. I tried to go to Pauline but all I got for it was more violence from terry, he really is a monster.

"Thought you were too good for the likes of us?"

Terry said as I felt another punch, he kept punching me until I was unconscious. I woke up not knowing where I was I must have been out for hours as it was dark in the room, Terry had gone too far this time. I frantically searched my pockets for my phone but it wasn't in there, terry must have taken it. I felt my way round the room falling over things till I found the light switch. Here I was in my old room beaten and bloody just like all those times before. I banged on the door but nothing I couldn't even try the window as terry had boarded it up. I was trapped here, trapped in the life I used to live.

I must have fallen asleep as when terry entered the room I could see through the cracks in the boarded up window that it was light again.

"Just let me go terry"

He could see I was terrified

"I can't do that just yet son"

"Don't call me son I'm not your son" I replied

He looked at me in such a way that I knew I disgusted him

"So people have been talking, saying you're a queer and you know how I feel about queers"

How did he find out I was gay?

"You need to be taught a lesson"

And with that he shut the door and locked it again. I tried calling for Pauline calling for help but it never come. No doubt he would hit her if she ever thought about helping me. What was I going to do? How would I get out of this one? I had just about lost all hope when I heard my phone ring; it must have fallen out when I was thrown in here. I found in under my old bed.

It was Brendan I never thought I'd be so happy to see him calling me. We'd gone months without talking but just lately he'd started calling me again, he was trying to get in my good books. I should have just ignored him, phoned the police but there was something so much more rewarding about knowing what Brendan would do to terry once he found out what he'd done to me. I answered the phone to hear Brendan

"Why haven't you been at work?"

He came into carter and hay most days and right now I was pleased he did. It all came out at once

"Please help, terry, and hurry"

Brendan told me to slow down, explain

"Terry has me trapped in my old house" I shouted

Brendan knew of my hell with terry, he knew what kind of life I used to have. With that terry flew in to the room snatching the phone out of my hand

"You will never learn, you're stupid like 'er downstairs"

When Terry started hitting me again I tried so hard to fight back, I think I even managed to hit him a few times but in the end I just tried to protect my head and face. He was so mad I definitely brought out the worst in him. He always did hate me, Pauline and I weren't even close and still he hated our relationship.

In his eyes I was nothing, worthless, bad, someone who constantly needed to be taught a lesson. I was unlikable in every way at least to him. I never did understand why and over the years I came to believe it was true. He was hitting me so hard and I could tell he had no intention of stopping. My whole body ached and I really thought that I was going to die, die at the hands of terry. My eyes were closed, I pictured all the people I loved the kids, Amy, Brendan as if it would be the last time I would see them.

Then I heard him

"FUCKING GET OFF HIM"

It was Brendan, thank god. He looked angry infact I'd never seen him look so angry it scared me. I think he could quite easily kill Terry. He shouted at me to turn around

"Don't watch this Stephen"

I could hear Terry crying, he wasn't the big man he thought he was, maybe now he knows what it feels like. Brendan was wild; I noticed Pauline had entered the room she was crying shouting at Brendan telling him to stop but he didn't. She never once attempted to come to me not even to see if I was ok. I was willing to help her but no more, Terry and Pauline they deserve each other.

"Brendan stop you'll kill him" I shouted

The minute I told him to stop he did. Terry was out cold, still alive, just, but probably in a worse state than me. Pauline sat next to him stroking his hair, they are both sick as far as I was concerned.

Brendan came over to me bent down and kissed my head, picked me up and carried me out of the house to the car. I was in no state to walk.

"I'll take care of you now Stephen"

Its mad to think that at one time Brendan would be breaking my ribs no different to terry but now he's my hero, wanting to take care of me, and that's just what he did.

**_please review it keeps me writing :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**


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